What we do to the Earth we do to ourselves

A new wave of conciousness exploded upon me today.

It started last night during my run. It was dark out, and as I ran by a pond I noticed how brilliant the stars were-more so than usual it seemed. And so I sat on a bench near that pond and took it all in. I experienced it. And in those minutes,I happened to notice flickering, twinkling planes which on first glance looked like stars. But no, there were planes littered across the sky-at least 10 of them. People up there, looking like stars. Which made me think of a quote I heard earlier in the day: "We are all stardust." And so I sat there, taking this all in, marveling at it all. And this strange feeling crept up inside of me, and I knew that I ws nearing something.

What I was nearing on is what happened today. As I sat in on an Art History class (that I've already taken I just liked it so much I want to do it again-yes, I'm a nerd), the topic of discussion came to prehistoric art, and how the people of the time were not just close to the Earth, they knew they were a part of it, unlike people today. Then we watched a video by biologist David Suzuki, where he explores that idea, and then goes on to explain that thinking we're separate from the earth is not only silly but suicidal. We're connected to the Earth and to each other, he explained, through air, earth, water, and fire. For example, we breathe in argon atoms, then breathe them out. A scientist traced them from one of his breaths, and a year later 15 of the same atoms he breathed in again. They don't just disappear, so really, we're breathing atoms that dinosaurs, pharohs, our neighbors have breathed as well. Breath, air connects us to the past, to the present, to the future, to each other.

But now, in our own man-made environments, and consumer driven culture, we're unaware of that connection to one another and the Earth. So we're acting in ways that hurt not only ourselves in the long run, but others, and the planet-which is our home-as well. And because we're not connected to the Earth, we have a loss of cummunity(one that perhaps we're filling with consumption, I think), and because we're forgetting where we come from, we have a spiritual hole in us. We face huge dilemmas right now: the environmental crisis, the econmic crisis, overpopulation, etc.

So what do we do? I don't know know, but I think that to start we need to recognize that we're the Earth, that we are each other. As I did yoga after class, I began to feel, not just recognize, in an entirely new way how interconnected everything really is. It wasn't just a moment, it was an experience. We are all one. We must get back to nature, to our spirit. To ourselves.

"What you do to the Earth you do to yourself"

After its all over

"To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." Taoist saying

Today was a difficult day, for reasons I won't go into here. But suffice it to say, it was draining. At the end of day, as I was coming home with my mom, we saw an amazing sunset. It was searing, bold and vibrant. And later, when I was out running, I could feel it, looking up at the stars, unusually bright, through the whisping clouds. I could feel the kosmos, the interconnection. I'm sorry if I'm getting a little to Bill for anyone here, but I really could feel it. Nothing, for those brief moments, was separate.

I can't often fall asleep

Yoga. I love Yoga. It has literally changed my life-transformed it. I started practicing seriously last summer, and finally decided to take classes this summer. What a great thing that was. It has taken my love, my ability level, my confidence, and passion for it, to a greater depth than I thought possible. But now classes are over and I'm struggling to create my own home practice. This is something I want, something that is very important to me to create, to have, to be a part of. I think once I'm not in limbo anymore, once school has started and I'm not at home all packed up, that it will get easier. I am having a hard time creating routines I guess you could say, and then making them lengthy. I don't want to rely on books and videos. I want to learn how to create a flow, and I guess thats what I will be teaching myself over the next 11 weeks.

Sometimes I get very discouaged. One moment I can go from being so confident in myself, in my art, to the next being completely distraught, as though I'm left on the side of the road with nothing. And that is why I cannot sleep tonight.

Today

So I thought I might try a blog out. I mean, I've tried myspace, facebook...I'll probably lose interest in this eventually, like I did with those other two, but maybe I won't. When I'm overseas later this year, though, I thought this would be a good idea.

My yoga classes have ended for the summer, school will be starting in a week....things are a bit crazy right now.

I have finally started to get some juice, find that spark inside of me. It's beautiful, its wonderful; I'm so happy about it. I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I've been waiting a long time for this. I want to start dealing with identity, with the transient nature of people. I spoke with someone today who pointed out that we are as much a part of our past as we are of our future. I've always felt this way-that we are constantly changing, evolving, and that we are a part of that past, as well as the future; that the present moment we are always in is both those things at once. How do you show that? How do you portray that? More importantly, how do you deal with that some days. How do you deal with this constant change. I've always found that letting go and letting it happen, just accepting it and embracing it is the best thing to do. Be a part of the flowing stream, as opposed to fighting against the current, fighting against your own nature. Then you are alive, you are experiencing life, which is this moment, to the fullest potential. But that's easier said than done.