Tuesday, November 23, 2010

a note about the picture



I included this picture in my pictures from Matt's visit to Florence. I never got to explain the story behind it, though.

The second time I climbed the Duomo, almost two years ago, I climbed it with Melissa. It was a wonderful, relaxing, thoughtful experience. I didn't take too many pictures, because I was enjoying her company. But I did snap a picture of this graffiti. I thought there was something very beautiful and sad about it....something very poetic, really. It made me so thankful to be up at the top with someone I really cared about.

Sometime after Melissa had returned home to Ada, I showed my friend Biz the picture and she fell in love with it, too.

So when Matt and I were at the top, I told him I wanted to find this graffiti. I didn't know if I'd be able to, but I really really felt this urge, this need to see it again, all of a sudden. And so I started looking, turned a corner, and BAM there it was. It was just there, right in front of me. I was shocked by how faded it was! And I really don't think anyone could really notice it, its so faded. But there it was, it presented itself to me. Whoever YS is, I hope he/she has made it back with someone by now.

With Melissa, almost two years ago

How it looks today

Sunday, November 21, 2010

seasons of mist (part 2)



I have now been in Florence for 3 weeks, to the day. A month here is clearly not going to be enough time, but I have been fortunate enough to come back to my city, so I'm not going to complain.

A lot has happened these past three weeks, and I expect this upcoming week to be no different. I'm prefacing this post with these points because I think this is going to be an ongoing post. Hence the parts.

Yesterday was a wonderful day. The three of us who are here doing the residency have been hanging out quite a bit. One of my new friends is a girl who it still in college, the other is a young man who has been out of school for a while and works at a workshop type place in Maine. The three of us get along quite well, and it has not only been nice to make new friends, but I think the relationships are helping me grow as an artist. We discuss everything from the perfection of banana gelato to love of dead writers.

Yesterday the three of us went to Pitti Palace to see a Caravaggio exhibit as well as check out the museum/palace in general. Pitti is a fun place to see, just in general. Throw some Caravaggio's in there and you have something even cooler.

What was REALLY fun was that it all of a sudden it stopped raining and the sun came out (this is literally a miracle as it has been raining non stop for just about forever). So we booked it out of Pitti, grabbed some delish lunch, then walked up to Piazza Michelangelo, and then on to San Miniato. The views were clearly (as you can see from my pictures in the post below) spectacular. I forgot how much I used to enjoy walking up into the hills on the other side of the Arno. I'm so thankful I got to go back and enjoy it, especially on such a wonderful day.

San Miniato is a really beautiful church, with a lovely pre-renaissance facade. If you are in Florence, make the trek up to it. You can see what inspired the exterior of the Duomo, then turn around and look at the Duomo.



Another really awesome thing about San Miniato is that there is a beautiful, expansive cemetery behind it. Anyone who has ever made the mistake of mentioning Paris around me knows that I LOVE Pere Lachaise and I love a good cemetery. Let me tell you, the cemetery at San Miniato is almost as cool as Pere Lachaise. Almost. Delacroix isn't buried there, though.


Being in the cemetery yesterday was perfect timing for me. The sun was getting low and golden in the sky, there were birds chirping, roosters were yelling, the air was moist and cool, and I could faintly hear the organ playing inside the church. I was also alone. My comrades had gone off to explore, and there wasn't anyone else in the section I was in.

I find cemeteries to generally be very contemplative, meditative places, and this one was no different. The atmosphere was enhanced by the time of day, the general wetness from the rain, and all the mist and clouds.

One of the things that has happened here in Florence is that my brain has literally not shut up for the past three weeks. I have been thinking about a myriad of different topics, and its all sort of constantly swimming around in my head. This is always happening, but when I'm constantly with my friends or family or co-workers, or just generally in a place that has signs and music and posters and people speaking a language I understand, I can get away from this constant thought for large chunks of time. Here, though, I cannot.

It's not like I'm sad or thinking dreadful, angsty things. Quite the contrary. I find myself consumed with thoughts about paint/colors/textures in general, Keats and the richness of the landscapes he discusses, the patterning on the Duomo and what it all means, my own musings at the place of the artist in todays society, how we are all interconnected, and, and always, I am trying to listen to and understand my ever-changing emotional interior.

Back to the cemetery. Being there yesterday was perfect timing, as I said, because it allowed me time and a specific space to let all my thoughts, dreams, and musings to wiggle around and grow. I just kept looking and looking at the statues, the names, the flowers, trying to figure out what it all means. Staring at the Duomo, at all the beautiful reminders of life and death around me in the cemetery, I tried to reconcile it all in my head. Why we do all this weird stuff when people die, like put their pictures or fancy writing on gravestones, or why we bother to make these beautiful spaces, or why I even bother painting at all. I couldn't "figure it out". And then I realized that NONE of us can, really. We all don't know why people die. We don't know really why we are alive (though most of us have a pretty good feeling as to why, we feel we have some purpose pushing us onwards). But we all are here, we all have time, we are all connected. And why we do all this weird stuff-like build beautiful monuments and erect statues over graves- hell we do this stuff because we don't know what else to do. We just do what we CAN do.

I'm there trying to figure out what it all "means" like some angsty teenager when there isn't some huge great meaning to it all. It's just all of us, being humans, being all interconnected and stuff. It's all just there. We've all put it there because we can. We don't know what else to do in the face of life, death, and the whole great big universe. We built beautiful spaces because we can, because it helps us to feel more connected to God, the Kosmos, and each other. We put grave makers and statues down over the bodies of our loved ones because it helps us to feel closer to them, as well as helps us to remember they are part of bigger things now. We don't know what else to do, so we do what we've been given the tools to do. We're all grasping at straws, but we're grasping together, and thats actually really beautiful. That's the meaning right there.


After the cemetery I went to the English mass in the Duomo. As always I cannot help but be humbled by the amazingness of the universe. The priest talked all about living your vocation, the importance of working hard at your calling, be it doctor, student, policeman or artist. We have to do what we can do with the time we're given.

Everything is so beautiful. I love you all.


Saturday, November 20, 2010

seasons of mist (part 1)








Hello loves! I'm quite exhausted from a busy, wonderful past few days. I have been doing so much thinking, creating and exploring-there is so much to talk about! But first, I need some sleep. I want to share some pictures though.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

"finding Florence"



Today was a wonderful day. I returned to the studio and real life (so to speak) after the wonderful weekend, feeling renewed and ready to take on life.

I've been taking the bus every morning and every evening, in and out of the center. Riding the bus can be fun, relaxing, terrifying, stressful....it has been a great addition to this trip as well as the bane of my existence. What it has provided me with is a new, challenging experience every day. From being unable to understand the people who talk to me daily while I ride, to encountering people who seem a bit nuts, to buses randomly not coming (or randomly stopping), to seeing a terrible vespa accident.... I've experienced all sorts of things on the buses here.

Today's bus rides were, for the most part, uneventful. I felt very good going into the center this morning, and very relaxed on the way home (which really doesn't happen much). Where I'm going with this is that I think I am beginning to "find" Florence again, finally.

I loved Florence the last time I was here, obviously that's why I wanted to come back. But the Florence that I loved so much, the weird, dirty, wonderful, magical place that it is, has been hard to find this time around. Maybe she (the city that is), is making me work harder now that I'm back, testing me to see if I really loved her. For the past two weeks there have been moments of brightness, of total openness and beauty, but there have also been an overwhelming amount of frustration, sadness, loneliness, anger, confusion....I wasn't in Florence the way I wanted to be, I wasn't open to her and her weird beauties. I've felt like an alien, someone who didn't belong...I felt trapped in a bubble that I was unable to break through.

No longer though! I think maybe this past weekend helped me to break the bubble. Seeing Florence through Matt's eyes was exciting. I think it helped me to see Florence again fresh, to take a step back from all of the confusion I've felt and actually embrace it, embrace her weirdness.

I drew and wrote inside the Duomo for quite a long time today. I love the space inside the Duomo, how empty, calm and quiet it is compared to the outside. While I was inside marveling, I realized how amazingly well the Duomo is a small representation of the vast wide kosmos. On the outside everything looks busy, fast, and separated, but the core is still. Just like all of us, we all seem so busy, so separate, but really we are all part of the universe, stemming from the same core of life. And of course, we have that stillness inside of us. Our exterior lives may seem insanely busy and stressful, but we are all able to be quiet and find stillness within ourselves, find that connection to kosmos.

I guess I had been forgetting for these past two weeks why I fell in love with Florence in the first place: because no matter where you are or what you're doing, whether it's riding the bus or standing at the top of the Duomo, you can't help but be aware of the fact that we are all just living people-we are all interconnected.




Sunday, November 14, 2010

grass in front of the Duomo?



Yeah, I'm not kidding. They put a grass lawn up in front of the Duomo this saturday.

Why? Well, because Matt was in Florence.

Or actually, his trip coincided with the start of the "Florens 2010" festival. Basically, Florence wants to become a major creative and economic center in the world once again, and this was a festival to help jump start that. So they put out a grass lawn. On Friday they stuck a life size replica of the David on one of the side domes, and then moved him to the grass on Saturday. Yeah I'm not kidding. There was also a food market in piazza della reppublica, and an olive oil market in piazza Santa Croce. Matt came to Florence at a smart time. As crazy as all of that sounds, it's all so Florence (for any of you out there who have been here, you know what I'm saying...it just all was SO something that would happen in Florence).




We had a lovely, wonderful fun weekend. Climbed to the top of the Duomo (which was, of course, SPECTACULAR), ate a lot, wandered around...it was not super touristy, but it was very fun. It was very nice to share my favorite city with someone. And to have a break from the landscape stupor I'd been in all week.




On top of the Duomo






xoxoxox I love you all

Life, etc.


Hello Loves! Sorry I haven't written in a while..I was gone from the apartment over the weekend and the internet wasn't working too well last week. I'll try to make up for it.

Things are going amazingly well in all areas of my life currently. Especially with my work. I feel that this is the first time in my life that I have consistently produced good work the majority of the time. I feel that I have really begun to "streamline" mu process in a way. Perhaps this is because the studio where I'm doing my residency is only open 5 hours a day (welcome to Italy), so when I'm in the studio, I'm pushing myself very hard to get as much out and as good of stuff out as possible. Normally when Im doing my little emotion landscapes I have to do a few ugly ones to get to the emotion, get to the root of what I'm feeling, to then make good ones that are straightforward in their emotional intensity. Yeah that all sounds super gallery speak, I know. But in all seriousness, I feel that right now I am able to "get there" so quickly (perhaps because I'm alone and don't have friends/family/people who speak my language around me at all distracting me, or maybe because being in florence again is helping me get in touch with myself....who knows?).

I'm also seeing the landscape transcending a small painting, I can see and am working to make it go beyond that, which is very exciting (speaking of which..photo friends...if any of you know anything about printing photos on canvas please talk to me, I'm interested in it). And in addition to that, I'm doing so much drawing/sketching/photo-ing of the Duomo facade and interior, that I literally cannot wait to get back in Batik about 400 scarves. I look at the Duomo every day, for a long time, and EVERY SINGLE TIME I notice something new that intrigues, excited and mystifies me.

Okay enough about art. Now about life. Life is going well. I'm having a nice time with my roommate, Cesar, and it doesn't hurt that he's always playing guitar so there is always music in the apartment. I'm eating tons of amazing food but have still managed to lose a ton of weight (this, in fact, is a very BAD thing because none of my pants or skirts fit). I'm doing a lot of reading, this last week inside the Duomo actually, because it was dreadfully rainy out. I'm also having a blast sort of helping travellers out. People frequently ask me for directions or help or something (which makes me feel pretty good, like I actually look like I belong here or something, even if I'm not feeling that way), and are always so relieved when I answer them in English.


Oh and Matt was here this weekend. Thats sort of like all the sugar in the caffe latte, or the icing on the cake, so to speak. More on his trip later, though.

xoxox



Monday, November 8, 2010

loveylovelyloveylove




Today was GREAT! Even despite all of the weirdo bus problems there were, today was WONDERFUL.

Let me tell all of you about it.

For starters, all of my laundry finally dried, so I had fresh new clean clothes. I did laundry yesterday early in the day, but it was raining so I couldn't put anything on the line, so all my clothes were hanging around the apartment. For those of you who have been to Florence in the colder months, you know that it is always kinda damp here. So its a relief to have dry clean clothes.

Anyway, thats not why today was so wonderful. It was wonderful because, well, for starters, they were letting tourists go all the way back to the alter in the Duomo today for some reason. They never do this. You only get to see the alter and the dome's mural if you're in mass or just climbed down the 463 steps from the top. And I can't do both of those things on a day-to-day basis, so I don't get to see the alter or the inside of the dome. But today I got to marvel at it. And it was magnificent.




It was also, for the brief hour that I was walking around the center, sunny out. The rest of the day it poured. The universe opens up her arms sometimes, you know? The sky was a perfect shade of blue, the clouds were unreal...it was gorgeous out (even though it's turned quite cold).


I also got into a really really good groove in the studio tonight. Did two new medium-sized paintings, finished another one I started next week, annnnndddd got a little book all put together. I have to put the cover on it, so it's not quite done and ready for the other blog. I'll include a sneak peak view of it, though.

It was pretty rainy and gross on the way home, and there were some bus troubles, but I ended up talking with a botanist from a university in Florence for quite a while on the ride home. It was very pleasant. He was so excited to tell me about the botanical gardens that are right near piazza san marco. I might check them out actually-I'm in that piazza every day, and I love a good garden.

So today, I'd say, was pretty great. I'm looing forward to seeing what's in store for tomorrow!
I love you all! xoxoxo


new boooook!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

traveling alone is wonderful/traveling alone is awful



yum!!!

a fun little detail on the Duomo. I spend probably an hour (or more) every day just staring at the facade.
oh my god the colors here!

Sorry about being so dreadful about posts this week, I have been very busy settling into Florence and the studio.

The week was lovely-lots of sunshine, very warm (65 everyday!), and lots to do/see. I got settled into the studio space, which I like quite a bit. There are not very many students at the school, and there is only one other person doing a residency right now. So I really have the whole painting area to myself. Everyone is so nice and fun! It's great being in a studio again...just the smell of it makes me happy. This past week I was a bit all over the place about work- I never felt that I could nail down what I was doing. But Friday I pushed through, and now I feel settled into the studio, with direction and conviction. I have so much time to make stuff, and there is so much stuff that I want to be making, that I'm seeing/feeling and want to be reflecting on, that it's almost overwhelming. I think that's good though. Because I can work as hard as I can this month, then come home and still have so much "material" to work from. Does that make sense?

Being back in Florence again is wonderful, but also quite strange to tell the truth. Ahhh seeing the Duomo every day is pure magic, pure bliss. And all the food is, of course, to die for. I am so enjoying taking long walks around the city, watching people, soaking up all of the beauty.....

I enjoy all of the alone time I have, I feel like I'm finally having a chance to catch my breath. I'm wandering around, taking pictures, sketching, reading....I love it. Making my own schedule, following my own regime and doing whatever the heck I want is quite invigorating. Right now it still feels like I'm living in a dream, to be honest.

But I am also missing everyone that I was here with the last time. I did not expect for this to happen, but I guess I should have. Of course the reason my last trip here was so wonderful was because I was here with and meeting some amazing people. The last time I was here was when it (finally) occurred to me that it's all about the people in your life. And here I am in Florence again, all by myself. Now, don't go thinking I'm unhappy or freaking out. I'm not. I'm quite enjoying myself. And I'm not even really alone at all-Matt will be here Friday. I guess I'm learning that as much as I love to travel (and oh my do I love to travel), I love to travel with people.

But right now, this is the first chance I've had in a long time to just focus on making stuff. And I'm enjoying that fact quite a bit.

I love you all and miss you xoxox

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

oh hey Florence, I love you.


Sooooo, todays weather was supposed to be crappy, but instead it was BEAUTIFUL out.

I did so much today I'm not even going to try to tell you what all I did. I'll upload some picture so you all can get an idea. It's easier and more fun for you than recounting every little thing. All day I had the biggest smile on my face. It was brilliant.

I love you all. xoxox




Creepy dead animals in Mercato Centralli.


San Lorenzo market!

They were very seriously cracking down! There were LOTS of police all over the market.


the inside of the Duomo is insane.

Yeah, I got a giant gelato. Three different kinds. I don't know what they were but they were great.