There is this sensation for me, and I think for many other people, that upon the ending of something, everything around me becomes heightened. Ada in the spring is always beautiful, but this year everything seems brighter, more beautiful, almost dream-like. I can remember the last few weeks in Florence being much the same. The days seemed longer, the sun brighter, the people around me more alive and beautiful than I had ever noticed before.
I am trying to take everything in that I can, make the most of every day, be as open as possible. It's invigorating but also overwhelming (the fact that I'm preparing for an exhibit in a week is probably adding to this). I have the feeling of being completely awake at one moment, then lost in a dream the next. It's very perplexing.
Looking graduation in the face is a strange feeling. I cannot believe that I'm old enough to graduate, but a the same time I feel ready for a new challenge. As an artist, I have been understanding myself and my process in a whole new way, something that I believe started in Italy. It's time now to see where it takes me outside of a classroom setting. I'm lucky that I'm a painter-I can paint anywhere. But it is scary to think that I'm not going to be back in Ada in the fall, not back in school. I've been in school my whole life, I don't know what life without school is like. I'm not going to graduate school in the fall, either. I think it's time to get real life experience to teach me a thing or two, let real life influence my art. I know how to paint, and I know how to paint a lot, now its time to go out and do that, beyond the strange pretend-world that is college. Its a weird feeling, this freedom just on my horizon. It's scary in a lot of ways. But it's also wonderful.
No comments:
Post a Comment